Friday, March 11, 2011

I hate titles

I know im 2 months behind, but I would really like to thank everyone for the kind words, phone calls, texts, emails, and comments everyone sent me regarding Shane. I really appreciated it :)
Shanes funeral was really good. (I dont know if "good" is a proper adjective to describe such an event?) His viewing was Friday and the funeral was on Saturday. It was surreal to be there. Never in a million years would I have guessed things would have turned out the way they did. But I can honestly say it was a humbling experience, it was a testimony builder for sure and Im grateful for everything I got out of it. I went to his parents house earlier in the week to talk to them. I was so nervous to go because I didnt know what to say. What can you say? But im so glad I did. I love his family and I know I recieved so much more comfort from them than I gave. They are so rock solid in the gospel, any dad who can stand up and say "I want to thank my Heavenly Father so much for blesing me", at his sons funeral is someone to be admired. Its still weird he's really gone. Theres been a couple times Ive reached for my phone to text him something before it hits me that I cant. And I still get a lump in my throat when I look at pictures of him, but it gets easier knowing he's in a better place.
I know I mentioned in a previous post that I recieved tickets to see Wicked for Christmas, and I never really talked about how excited I was for the play, but believe me I was stoked! I had wanted to see it for a while, so knowing I was going for real in a matter of weeks was exciting. Sadly my excitment for it was overshadowed by Shanes death. His funeral was scheduled for that same weekend, and I wasnt sure if I was up for seeing it. I decided to go anyways and am so glad I did. It was a nice getaway from that horrible week and the show was amazing. Im definitely hoping to go to more shows in the future, and typical I didnt take pictures.

Today has been a very blah day and I cant quite get out of the funk of it. I went to the midnight showing of Red Riding Hood last night which is part of the reason I slept until 1 today. It was almost instantanious from the point when I opened my eyes that I knew how today was going to play out. I layed in bed for another 15 minutes thinking about nothing for the most part, I just couldnt get my body to move. I finally decided to go eat which was a bad choice. I never eat right when I get up in the morning otherwise I feel gross the rest of the day. weird I know. I was supposed to get up at 10 and start studying for the math test im going to take in the morning, obviously that didnt happen. I knew I needed to start studying but instead I watched the 2 Kourtney and Kim episodes I missed, part of Somethings Gotta Give, I cleaned my room a little, added to my stupid music playlist, and I looked at every.single.picture. im tagged in on facebook. Now its 730 pm, and im only 6 questions into my study guide. awesome.
I miss my friends today. Im sure it has to do with todays mood, but i definitely feel it a little more today than usual. I miss living with my best friends. I like the constant companionship, espicially when its with someone I enjoy being around 20 hours a day. I miss laughing so hard it hurts, I havent laughed like that in a long time. I got a letter from Joey today and it made me laugh out loud. I miss him. His letter reassured me that he is indeed still one of the funniest boys I know. As I read his letter I couldnt help but wish it was the start of 2010 again. It was by far my favorite semester.

But living in the past doesnt get you anywhere now does it. To sorta counterstrike the mood I have portrayed, I have actually enjoyed being back in Tucson. I have a few friends I hang out with on a regular basis. I still have fun and I like where Im at. I got a little crazy and decided to take a couple classes at Pima to help pass the time. Despite my brothers pleas I signed up for the 2 classes he happened to be taking. He loves it :) I also got a j.o.b. It has to do a little bit with Sports and Authority. Bingo. Sports Authority. They clearly saw my passion for sports and hired me on the spot. ha. I was lucky enough to have a couple old friends working there already and they put in a good word for me. I like it so far, im just grateful to finally have a job. And without tryin to be to prestigous, I also have another job interview lined up for next week. Pray I get it. seriously. Remember when I put in job applications at Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, Childrens Place, AND Tillys and they all went nowhere? Well now that I have a job, apparently they all want me. Within the last week I have literally gotten a call from every single place asking if I wanted to interview. Its cool but would have been super nice 3 months ago when I was in desperate need! Regardless, im greatful for the oppurtunities. Wish me luck!